"Go, and I wish you well"

Greetings, pilgrims of the digital dialogue. The Postmaster brings to you more insights into the depths of the human soul. Some of these depths are great and abyss-like, while others more closely resemble, say, one of those children's pools that comes in the shape of some aquatic animal.

It is not unusual that those writing to The Postmaster appeal to the authority of the Bible, most usually passages from the books of Genesis, Leviticus and Romans, when voicing objections to the civil marriage of persons of the same sex. Of late, however, there have been a number of authors who seem to have drawn their main inspiration from an altogether different book. Let us peruse:

"The current thrust to force this "Same Sex Marriage" bill upon Canadians is totally offensive. One cannot tolerate the thought of opearting a business in the environment that will follow if this bill were to become law. Our business will not remain in Canada if this happens."

"WHAT ABOUT "BARBIE &KKEN"DOLLS. IT'S ALWAYS BEEN THAT PLAYING DOLLS WHEN I WAS LITTLE. NOT BARBIE MARRYING BARBIE & KEN MARRYING KEN. IF THEY CHANGE ALL THAT - I'M GLAD TO BE MOVING OUT OF CANADA!!!!!!!"

"The social and economic decline that this Bill will introduce (as evidenced in Scandanavia), combined with the imminent trampling of rights, make Canada's future scary.

If this Bill is passed, we will seriously consider leaving the country taking with us our buisness, our money, and our families."


The Postmaster must admit that as far as arguments against same-sex marriage go, this one is impressively coherent. One could boil it down to a simple "Do what I want you to do, or I will leave."

Unfortunately for the above authors, while this particular tactic is coherent, it is not especially compelling.

Let us embark upon the following thought experiment: imagine that you live in a relatively nice suburban neighborhood. You decide, and it is approved by the neighborhood committee, to repaint your house a vibrant shade of yellow. However, one neighbor takes issue with this. As you prepare to buy the paint, she is there at the store telling you it is wrong. As you go to rent a ladder and scaffolding, she is slipping notes under your door telling you to stop. As you select the perfect colour, she is writing letters to the local newsletter railing against your choice. And then, when all is in order for you to begin, she approaches you with her final ultimatum: if you paint your house yellow, she will be forced to move to a completely different neighborhood.

What effect would such a statement have on your decision? The Postmaster, and likely others, would certainly continue with the original plan, the only change being the added motivation to complete the task as soon as possible. Thus can we see that a coherent argument is not the same as a sound argument.

However, if the authors and others of the same view are not to be swayed from their decided course of action, then allow me suggest they peruse the list of the best countries in which to live, although the authors may wish to be sitting down when they do so, as they will doubtless be extremely surprised to see that, in fact, the moral and economic decline of Scandinavian countries was perhaps less of a fact and more of a convenient fabrication by their own much-taxed imaginations. Regardless, The Postmaster wishes them all the best in their future homelands and urges them not to forget to write.

Bonfire of the Fallacies

Gentle reader, though The Postmaster has been absent for a fortnight, I have certainly not forgotten my duties, nor could I if I chose to, as the matter of marriage continues to weigh heavily upon the already much-taxed intellects of this and other lands. While the fever pitch of "debate" has passed, there remains the audible sound of those still struggling with the formation of coherent argument to summarize their opinion and convince others. Let us examine:

"I have had many nightmares in my lifetime but this upcoming, " ANTI-MARRIAGE BILL " will be my worst nightmare ever. I expect many people in this country, would agree with what I said. How could this same-sex bill be normal ? This is so un-human. Every normal human would realize this. "

The Postmaster can certainly sympathize with seeing one's worse nightmare come true. In the case of The Postmaster, it is seeing the general inability of people to use common punctutation as taught to children and certain species of advanced primates. When this is coupled with a grasp of reasoning and debate that is, to put it delicately, infantile, The Postmaster is truly awake in the worst of all nightmares. When one is compelled, for no apparent reason to place a comma at random in a sentence containing but one simple thought and therefore not requiring it, perhaps one should spend less time worrying about whether one's fellow humans are "normal", which, as an aside, is a term both vague and subjective and therefore not suited to be even part of a premise of a logical argument, let alone the conclusion, not that the author would know a logical argument if it bit him or her in the...

Ahem. You must pardon The Postmaster, it has been a long and wearying fortnight. Let us move on.

"The definition of tradtional marriage as the union of one man and one woman has been held to for thousands of years. In the beginnng, God created man, Adam, and a woman, Eve. woman was created as a helpmate for man. It was man who corrupted what God had in mind."

The Postmaster wonders if, given how things turned turned out, Adam would have perhaps preferred a helper monkey. Ha ha! I jest, of course. It would be Eve who would have preferred the helper monkey.

Alas, it seems that The Postmaster is quite out of sorts this morning. I have neither the energy nor the desire to even begin to start to try to enumerate and discuss the many flaws of the above "argument" in terms of being neither sound or convincing. Perhaps the gentle readers may wish to do this themselves. The Postmaster is going for a nice cup of tea.

Oxbow, Saskatchewan

The Postmaster again embarks upon a journey across this great nation to uncover the innermost thoughts of one particular town. Join me today in what The Postmaster believes to be the quaint village of Oxbow, Saskatchewan. They have been labouring, much like the proverbial oxen, with literary efforts regarding the subject of matrimony in our dear country. The Postmaster offers the following fine selection of humankinds deepest thoughts:

"The great moral principle of the union of one man and one woman is God's provision for us since the Creation. This bill has the potential for disastrous effects of the family and society as a whole. It becomes not a question of whose rights we support, but of what IS right. Only by doing what IS right can we protect our families and society."

What IS right is making a statement backed up by solid evidence, or premises, which add weight and soundness to an argument. The Postmaster fears that perhaps, in haste, the writer has forgotten such things.

"Having been brought up in a God-fearing home, where the truth of the bibile was upheld, I feel I must voice my concern and disapproval of such a bill becoming the law of the land. I think most would be aware that marriage in Canada has always been recognized as the union of one mand and one woman, to the exclusion of all others. I, for one, would fear to go against God's word. Wouldn't you?

It is evident that moral decline is becoming more and more prevalent in our world today."

The Postmaster agrees that marriage in Canada has traditionally been between a man and a woman; however, to use the term "always" shows an ignorance of the current reality wherein several jurisdictions have performed marriages which do not fit within the definition which the author describes. Therefore, one may say "Until recently, marriage in Canada had always been recognized as the union of one mand and one woman", much as one may say "Until recently, there was no such thing as rape within marriage as the wife was considered to have consented indefinitely to sexual intercourse with her husband by the simple act of marrying him and therefore had neither the right to refuse him nor the legal grounds to prosecute him for forced sexual relations as these were not considered to exist within lawfully wed couples". The Postmaster offers this merely as an illustrative example, of course. Furthermore, since we are already on the topic, The Postmaster humbly requests an illustrative example to back up the writer's last claim, as it is serious enough in nature, yet rendered trivial due to lack of even the tiniest scrap of evidence, which the writer can surely provide and likely did not only due to constraints on his or her doubtlessly full schedule.

"THIS WICKED BILL BEING FORCED ON OUR NATION IS AN AFFRONT TO GOD'S PRINCIPLES - 1 MAN AND 1 WOMAN - AND CANNOT BE TAKEN INTO OUR OWN HANDS. PLEASE TAKE TIME TO REFLECT THIS ISSUE."

All The Postmaster can say in return is "Please take time to proofread your work, and, time permitting, a draft version may prove invaluable to the writing of a cohesive and well-structured letter". Still, your request is certainly noted, though were it composed in a gramatically correct fashion it would be far more easily granted, since the lack of sound sentence structure makes it difficult for the reader to ascertain exactly what is being requested. Pardon me, what IS being requested, for, apparently, the fine people of Oxbow prefer the word capitalized, and this particular writer prefers to capitalize all letters, perhaps because the writer is aware that the argument does not speak so loudly on its own. Regardless, The Postmaster has placed a copy of this letter in front of a mirror so as to better reflect it, although The Postmaster is curious as to what this will accomplish.

In conlusion, The Postmaster would like to thanks the aspiring wordsmiths of Oxbow, Saskatchewan, for their contributions to the Marriage Mailbag and - though they are taking but the the steps of infants in this direction - wish them further success in the field of expanding their capacity for arguing convincingly.